So for four nights in a row, including the two hours that I was asleep tonight, I've had nightmares almost non-stop. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, because normally I've been watching scary movies or something equally stupid to CAUSE the weird dreams (not even classified as nightmares, half of them.) But that's the thing, I haven't watched TV period. I've watched a couple eppies of Bleach, but there's nothing in the dreams even Bleach-related lately. All I've been doing is living life the best I can and trying to job hunt. Both, currently, I'm failing at obviously...



The first night it was okay, at least. I was given the daughter of my best friend to take care of because her parents had just died. I was trying to find a job because I had just lost [another] job, and even though I couldn't support myself and the girl, they gave her too me because she had no one else and her mother didn't want her going to a foster home or anything because the foster homes in the area are truly horrible. So I was job hunting everywhere and I had to take the girl with me because I couldn't afford to get a babysitter, nor did I trust anyone else to baby sit her that was willing to do it for free. Somehow, I don't know how, I ended up working for Bruce Wayne and a bunch of weird stuff happened and I found out he was Batman... >.>;;; Yeah, I guess it was less of a nightmare and more of a WTFH?!?!?!



The second night I don't remember, I just remember waking up four or five times during the night in tears and going to the bathroom and going to get something to drink. I think they were mostly little shorts.

Last night was reliving the Mackinac Trip (which I haven't written about yet, maybe next time I will though)... it was horrible as it was, but the dream added the factor that I didn't have a proper dress for the trip (required for dinner at the Grand Hotel) and I found a dress shop that sold dresses that was [just barely] in my price range. So I was trying on dresses and everything, but my group left me, and I didn't have a watch or a cell (what do I look like, a billionaire?!) So I got done trying on my dresses and realized it was suddenly REALLY dark out... so I went and I purchased my dress and ran outside, realizing that my group had disappeared and somehow it was like... midnight outside!! So I started heading in the direction of the hotel (loooooooong walk, mostly uphill from downtown). Somehow though, I got really turned around and confused, and ended up in the woods away from the hotel and I was lost and confused and ready to break down. Worst of all, I was carrying my carry-on from the bus (a messenger bag with two notebooks, my MP3 player, a Mountain Dew, some pens and pencils and a few other random things), plus this dress that wasn't very light (though pretty enough to inspire me to draw it out when I woke up that morning).

It was starting to get chilly out and I had nothing on but a t-shirt, jeans and flip flops, and I was sort of getting miserable and tired, so I sat down on a downed tree, thinking to take a break and then head back the way I came. Until I looked that way and realized that the path was gone and something was coming towards me. It was a big, black monster that was just disgusting looking. I ran, thinking to escape, but I was slowed down by everything I was carrying and the fact that I was tired and sore (for those of you who don't know I have hip and leg problems.) So as I ran, I dropped the dress and then dropped my bag and kept running. I finally collasped in front of a building, but everything was silent behind me, so I sort of just rested there for a moment while trying to get my bearings... I climbed up the hill to the building and realized that it was an old, ruined fort with a cliff behind it. The cliff had sort of a stair-like walk way leading to the top, which I climbed, hoping I would be able to see the rest of the Island from the top... but when I got to the top there was like a sea of dead bodies, including everyone that was one the trip with me, some family and other unrecognizable people... and the monster was up there eating someone that was alive that  I didn't recognize and it turned and looked at me. I freaked out of course and it opened it's mouth to say something, and I woke up before it could get the words out... I was sweating and in a mini-panic attack, and I still can't get the pictures of all the dead bodies on the cliff out of my mind...

 

Tonight, I went to bed REALLY early because of the lack of decent sleep and the fact I was worked like a horse today trying to clean the house and take care of my sick mom while job hunting and dealing with some on-going friend-issues. Like, think shortly after 8 pm early after waking up 7 this morning and not being able to get back to sleep... and I had another fucking scary dream.

I had just had a baby, and it was only like two months old, and I was trying to take care of it, and my mom was trying to support me, my step dad who had just got laid off of work, and of course my baby, and the baby suddenly got sick and was coughing REALLY badly, but we couldn't afford to take it to the hospital and  they wouldn't accept us anyways because we had so many bills overdue because of medical issues and of course all my maternity stuff that we couldn't afford to pay. So we were doing what we could to make the baby comfortable and tried to get rid of the cough, when it coughed up this little blood red jewel thing, and died shortly after. I, of course, was absolutely miserable; my baby had just died after coughing up this red thing.

They were trying to put me in jail for 'negligence' and we were trying to sue the hospital for not taking the baby even though we had so many bills overdue and everything (we were really just trying to get our old bills dismissed really, because we asked for the amount equal to that with the reason that it was their stubbornness over those bills that led to my child's death in the first place.) So we had two on going cases, and I was still tying to mourn and at the same time, I was secretly trying to figure out what the fuck the jewel was. I started living out in a tent in a friend's yard, and I would sit outside numbly staring at the fire and the jewel. The last part of the dream had to deal with the fact that they dismissed the negligence case and we won the lawsuit against the hospital, but I was playing with the jewel one day, talking to it (I was becoming increasingly insane in my depression over all of this) and this spirit-thing popped out... it was a cute little dragon-looking spirit, but I didn't get to talk to it because the black monster from my other dream came barging in trying to kill it and me...

I woke up at that point, and my head was just hurting like hell... took two excedrin, went to the bathroom, tried laying back down but every time I closed my eyes I saw the monster just staring at me... so I got up and got online for a little bit while drinking Diet Coke (yuck) and trying to tired myself out and get rid of the rest of my headache... and now I'm writing this... I have so many things going through my head right now.

What is  this monster that comes into my dreams and why is it re occurring?

How did my friend die and why was I given the little girl?

Who was the father of my baby? What was it's name? Was it a boy or a girl (never found out in the dream)?

Why was I living in a tent outside a friend's house after the death of my baby? Was I living there before I got pregnant?

WHY THE HELL WAS BRUCE WAYNE/BATMAN IN MY FUCKING DREAM?!?!?!?!?

>.>;; yeah... so that's why I'm not sleeping right now...